And that's a wrap

With the onset of the last month of the year and end of first semester, it got me analyzing about things, events, and people around me. To reflect back on major events that occurred to me on the preceding months; I had leave my country to upgrade my qualification and to climb up the ladder of professional growth. Never had I loved my subject more than anyone and anything in this world. Somehow, Psychology never fails to fascinate me. I was very keen to learn more, content-wise, about the subject and this is the very reason for choosing India for my masters degree as the country is known for qualitative content.  I still remember, very vividly, how excited I was on my first day to college. Unlike usual me, I woke up three hours earlier and got ready before two hours of the first period of the college. The moment my tutor started teaching, I thought it out loud, 'What the hell is this?' It also made question about me being in the wrong class. Never-the-less, I consoled myself by reasoning out that it is too early for me to be judgmental and to draw any conclusion with just a day's experience. As the days passed into months, and with two mid-exams and a semester exams, my prior thought about my department was very apt. I don't know whether the problem is with the students or administration but during exams, be it internal or final, the sight of students cheating right under the nose of invigilator, is very common. Out of 26 students, only 5 or 6 students attending classes regularly is a latest fad in my department. Tutors dictating notes instead of elaborating difficult concept is an integral part of their teaching style. Note dictation rules out everything.  

As I think of all these events happening in my department, I find it very devastating and am highly demotivated, up to the point of leaving everything behind and get tempted to just walk away from it. As a educator, I find it very unprofessional of my tutor's part to be laid back in their teaching strategies. Incorporating new strategy and skill in daily teaching is a far cry and a dream, impossible to turn into reality. More than 80 percent of content is delivered in their local dialect though it claims English to be the medium of instruction. I can tolerate the use of local dialect as the medium of instruction as long as the concerned tutor makes sure to repeat the same thing in English but there are few tutors who go on jabbering in their dialect for whole hour and doesn't even acknowledge my existence in the class.

I agree, any school in every part of the world, has few students who engage in malpractices but WHO IS TO BE BLAMED? Is it student's lack of preparedness for the exams or is it the shortcomings of the administration with their inability to enforce stringent rules? On a moral ground, it is very shameful and degrading to see such events occurring in every paper and the most devastating part is the active involvement of invigilators. My inner peace and conscience was distorted by these events for weeks.

And with these unsettlingly disturbing events of 2015, I hope with brand new year, I will be able to figure my way out to resolve those unresolved issues. Personally, I feel it is worst way to wrap up with several unresolved issues but at the same time, it acts as a strong agenda for me to be more determined with an open mind to view life from different perspectives.

(Note: This article is not to judge anybody but to project the reality from the author's  perspective) 

A Month without Books: Meaningless Life

Last time I read a book was back home while I was preparing to come to India for my studies. I had been meaning to take a book or two to read on my way but then let off that idea as I expected big city like Visakhapatnam to have numerous bookstores. Since my arrival here, I haven't read a single book as I haven't come across any bookstore. I have asked my friends about bookstore, it seems like there isn't any bookstores here. It's been almost a month since I had been cursing myself for not bringing books from my hometown. I know what I have been through and how I have felt every second crawl like a lazy tortoise, walking on it's own pace.

Days seems longer and nights longer than days without any books to read. Usually, classes gets over by 1 PM and rest of my day is spent either watching YouTube videos or Facebooking. The condition of my eyesight is getting worst day by day due to constant exposure to laptop and mobile. If the weather permits, I used to visit beach to refresh myself. But lately, it has been raining with scary lightning and thundering every evening thus, preventing me from visiting beach.

I never had the longest week in my life like this week. The first day of the week, classes were called off and the remaining few days, college was closed due to strike. And I have a tendency to stop going to college for the rest of the days of the week, if I miss the first day. So, basically I haven't been to college this week. I have watched almost hundreds of videos in YouTube. I have been very active in social medias as well yet I was left with plenty of free time with nothing to do. I used to lay on my bed and imagine reading a book with a strong black coffee on my study table. Caffeine and nicotine has lately failed to give me that 'Kick'. These two poisons goes very well only with books. Had I been in Bhutan, I would kill for tension-free week like this.

I still remember how my relatives and friends used to get irritated with my habit of taking a book to toilet to read. For them, I suppose, it signifies as marking my territory in their own house. In every house, if I stay more than two days, I have a very annoying habit. I keep a book in toilet, meant to read only when I relieve myself. Those people who have visited my house will know, unlike other people's toilet, mine won't be filled with toilet freshener and cleaner rather it will be filled with books. The window sill of my toilet will be stacked with books. I know I sound so weird, right now but can't help it. This is who I am.

All my life, I have been a voracious reader. During my school days at Trongsa, I was very much known for surprisingly and  unexpectedly waking up in 2 AM to complete my novel. Even examinations won't dare to interrupt with my reading habits. While my friends prepare for exams, I used to be seen with a novel in my hand. I clearly remember my late brother coming to me with my result and said, 'seems like your reading has made you pass with good marks.' He always used to suggest my parents to convert my childhood room into library. (One day, I shall make his unfulfilled wish into a reality)

Out of desperation, I started reading EBooks but the kind of pleasure that I get from reading book in hard copy cannot be expressed in words. I even tried ordering books online several times which failed miserably. The smell of new books and the sounds of flipping pages used to take me to that place, where I have never been. I miss the happiness I used to get when I buy new books. Visiting bookstore was one of my way of connecting with my true inner self. A month without books has made me feel so distant from myself. I feel detached and lost. I have almost forgotten how it feels to be in the midst of books. I have to endure this pain and loneliness till I come across a bookstore. Until then, my search for bookstore is going very strong. I will not give up till I hold a book in my hand. Wish me luck!

(Note: If I am to name one thing that I can't survive without, then definitely that has to be ''BOOK.")

My wonderful experience in the city of gaint port and beautiful beach, Visakhapatnam, .

After six long years, I am back to India for my studies. Though it breaks my heart to be thousand miles away from my family and loved ones, it bring out the wild and free mind of mine, which screams like a kid, for adventure. New place and new people always fascinates me. Today, I am going to blog about few things I got to experience after reaching to Visakhapatnam.

The first and foremost thing that caught my eyes was beautiful beach. Since my childhood, I had been wanting to be on beach and play on the sand. I made sure to visit the beach at least, once a day. It gives you such a wonderful and serene feeling to be on beachside with fresh air going through my hair. For a moment, I forget the time and place. It has a ability to make me appreciate every lil' things in life. The view of beautiful sunset is bonus. One day, I happened to go to beach and was enjoying the view of sun setting. That moment, I realized life cannot get better than this. Beach time is the only time I get to be alone with my thoughts and ponder upon my life. I have been to two beaches here and have more to explore as I heard there are numerous beaches at Visakhapatnam. The most interesting thing about beach here is, in the morning from 5 AM TO 8 AM, vehicles are not allowed on road. This three hours is meant for morning people who can enjoy the view as they jog and walk. But the sad part is, on personal level, I am still yet to make best use of it. Though I have promised to my beloved ones at home that I will burn few calories off me. The next big step I got to take is to buy a good pair of running shoe so that I can enjoy the beach view in the morning as I jog. (Praying for all the determination and willpower to make it happen, one fine day)

And the second thing that I have experienced is the great difficulty to procure SIM card. I still wonder and my parents have been constantly nagging me to get one over WeChat as if I haven't tired. I remember chatting with my bestie over Facebook about the difficulty over getting a SIM. Then she said, 'Yeah, I think you don't get SIM easily in India. I have seen in crime shows telecasted in television'. I was like 'As if its foreigners who commits those horrendous crimes'. Whatsoever, its almost three weeks since I arrived here and I still don't have Indian SIM. The good thing is I get to lead a tension free life without cell. No irritating calls from customer care. But the sad part is I miss talking to my parents and beloved ones at home though I get to hear their voice via social media but no other thing can beat the happiness to listening to voices of loved ones on phone. (Still trying my arse off to procure a SIM)

Now, something related to academic life. I am very much familiar with teaching strategy of Indian Education System but it nearly blew my mind off when my lecturers started dictating notes on my first day to class. Who the hell dictates the notes at Masters level? Who does that? And the way they teach is Chalk and Talk. I didn't know that I am back to stone age where the teachings had to been done through chalk-and-talk due to lack to technology. At this age with all the technological advancement, I have to write every word my lecturer utter in the class. I remember taking notes during my primary days. After so many decades, reliving those days are kind of pain-in-my-arse as my middle finger was swollen, literally. How I wish for that day when the lecturers will realized that they can teach without dictating. (One reason for not being able to blog as my fingers were all swollen and keeping my fingers crossed for a day not to take notes anymore, which is next to impossible)

On a personal level, the thing which I hate the most and is darn clueless: cooking, I tried my hands in cooking and quite surprising I kind of mastered in it. I have come here with the thinking that whatever mess provides in hostel, I will, without grumbling, have it. My parents were finally hoping for me to lose some weight when I informed them that I have meals from mess. Call it bad or good luck, the hostel didn't have mess facilities. And stubborn and clueless me, decided to have meals from outside and I did for a week. I had very difficult time in relishing the local cuisine with my frequent visit to toilet and stomach ache. So, I was left with no option than to learn cooking. My first attempt led to burnt rice followed with soup-like rice. Luckily, I didn't face any problem with curry as with more chilies and cheese, what could go wrong. Now, I can proudly say I can cook a decent meal which can be consumed without any side-affects though it is a completely different story that I feel like a common house wife as I put my apron and start cooking and the worry of what to cook for next meal freaks the hell out of me. As I feel I am turning into a weirdo with a unrealistic and constant thought of cooking. (Now, I don't have to worry about not being able to cook when I ran out of money to treat myself with delicious and expensive meals. I can survive)

These are four major things I have experienced which are worth mentioning in my blog.

(Author's Note: This is my first blog after a long gap. Hoping to blog more in future as my stay here gets wonderful and exciting)

Gossipmongers

It has been almost five months since I visited my blog to post my write-up. I had been pondering for quite sometime to write but coming up with an appropriate topic has been stopping me from writing. Whatsoever, the recent problem that I faced in my life has served as 'blessing-in-disguise'. So, in this article, I will be writing about how gossip affects the lives of an individual and will try to touch a bit on the reasons behind for gossiping.

Dear readers, before you proceed further with your reading, please bear in mind that this article is neither meant to hurt the sentiments of any individuals nor to advertise my problem. I write because this is the only way I express eloquently.

Since my appointment in Samtse College of Education, one way or the other, I had been victimized by gossipmongers. I had been defamed by associating with each and every male friend (they didn't even spare my younger male siblings and cousins). If I am being seen with any man, they conclude that I have a sexual relationship with them. What the heck? Can people stoop up to that level? And the funny thing is, unfortunately, gossipmongers are highly qualified and elite individuals of the society. The only question that arises in my mind is 'What the hell did I do wrong to them?'

I have lived one of the most controversial life at Samtse. I had been most talked about by almost all the people. When I say 'talked about', its not about something good rather something horrendously horrible, which I cannot even reflect here in my write-up.

Every time, when I hear the information, obviously I am the last person on this earth to know. The one who gives me the information always says the same thing, 'I thought I will not share it with you but I think you need to know that people are saying......... (blah blah blah)', like a broken record. And the most weirdest and unbelievable things about me will come out of that informant's mouth. Honestly, most of the information are earth-shattering. At that moment, I really wish if the earth would open adequate crack to engulf me. It is so embarrassing and humiliating to even listen to those descriptions. Given the kind of negative and unpleasant emotions that I go through at that moment, it is very predictable of me to confront the people, who are actively involved in the act of gossiping. As expected, the consequences are usually bitter with toxic and nauseating environment, forget about working and living in harmony, I can't even breathe the same air and cannot be in the same room.

What most of the gossipmongers forget is that while they enjoy talking ill about others, they are putting that victim to go through traumatizing phase of months and weeks with no peace of mind. The lose of appetite and insomnia are the two most common symptoms that directly inflicts the victim. Just out of curiosity, I wonder often late at night, 'Why the F*** do they get by letting that person to experience such a slow and painful death, every moment of their life?'. At times, I feel that they have as what I say frequently, 'An Invisible Horns' on their heads.

On the other hand, sometimes, rational part of me overtakes my impulsive nature and decides to turn deaf ears to them. I have been there, done that. But for how long? I had been ignoring them for almost two years. Yet, gossipmongers targets me with another piece of information to jeopardize my life.

Eventually, I have decided that the only way to maintain my composure and continue living my life is to distance myself from them. If they are really into ruining me and what's-left-of-my-screwed-fame, they can do and say whatever suits them. I am done with clarifying and answering to them. I am done with taking resort to complain with 'Why me and What did I do wrong?',

Note: We cannot stop people from gossiping, that's a fact but the least one can do is try to refrain from being a part of gossip. That's what I believe.